Okay, so today was the first day of the week. Sort of. Technically Sunday is, but I consider Monday to be the first day of the week because it feels like it. I don't really care what the calender says; Sunday is on a weekend. It's God's day of rest, so it should be the last day of the week. After all, it is the last day of creation, isn't it? Wait, I bet some liberal proposed a bill making Sunday the first day of the week instead of the last, thus beginning the anti-religion movement we are facing today! I just made a brilliant discovery!!!!
........................(ribbit, ribbit) Ok, not really, it's just a stupid random thought that just popped into my head. Sort of like the Infamous Squirrel of Doom, who met his demise trying to get peanut butter out of a squirrel trap. Therefore, my alter ego is gone. Well, not alter ego. My pen name. Ok, I'll speak in literal terms instead of metaphorical. I thought it was stupid, so I chucked it out the window. Darn it, there I go with metaphors again!!!.............
Alright, back to Monday (a.k.a. today). This morning was an orientation thing for the H.S. who are running Kare Youth League's Track event (it's been a tradition since the 30's or something like that and this is the first one I've been to.....I'm not usually down here in the summer) After that, the Varsity lifted weights and ran. After that I drove home and took.......creatine!! Don't worry, it's not illegal. Creatine is actually in your system, it's just if you have more of it it helps build your muscles bigger faster. Then, I caught up on practicing, went to Wal-Mart to run a few errands and came here. I got a map that tracks all of my guests, so, I know you've been here and I don't have to depend on comments to know if some people visit.
.....oh yeah, I just remembered my Windows vs. Mac project. It's scratched. I developed a huge bias against Apple, so the neutral part is gone. (unless if someone out there would like to see something bag on Apple........just go to youtube and look up "smash my ipod". I am officially too busy/lazy to make anything.)
All right. So, if you read this blog, I know you've been here, so post a comment unless if you're a liberal. I don't want to hear your whiny diatribes against global warming and that Bush lied and kids died (kids that are going to be terrorist, might I add [remember the incident where we supplied Israel with missiles and they used those missiles to bomb Lebanon? If you don't, read the news more]) and all that cr... uh, nonesense.
Until next time, wash your hands. 30 seconds MINIMUM, not maximum.
CP
Monday, July 30, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
I am back in So Cal
Well, I've been back 5 days and wow, does everything feel different. I'm going to be a senior, it's going to be my last year in football and in a year I will be starting my actual adulthood. I am anticipating finishing this year because recently I have received God's calling; He wants me to be an engineer (which kind, I don't know; I would like to do computer engineering, but that's what I like, I don't know if that's what God wants me to do) and to help our church with my musical talent. Which means that I will double major in Music and Engineering. What college will I go to? Right now I'm aiming for USC (So Cal, not South Carolina; I've done a Google search for tuition costs and saw it was only 7,000 bucks and I rejoiced but it was Southern Carolina. So, I went to the actual USC website and my heart sank as I saw that tuition costs were 15,000 bucks. Add on the other costs, and it's $30,000 a year. That's like buying a new car every year. Well, God will provide if He wants me to go there), but I may end up going to a junior college like PCC or Cal Poly Pomona.
Say, I was actually on a spiritual level on this blog. That's a rarity.....alright, back to business!
So, H.P. and the deathly hallows came out and I am not in the least bit interested. Why? Because ol' Harry stinks. Literally. He's a pansy, I tell you. Every book he gets beat up in one way or another and gets saved by his com padres from that one dude whose name starts with a V...I forget what it is but I can care less. The whole witchcraft thing doesn't really bother me that much, but the fact that the series was recently ridiculously successful bothers me. If anything is ridiculously successful, it bothers me. (..except for some things like tom clancy, lord of the rings, and halo)
I took my sister to go see Ratatouille and I thought it was pretty good. I really want to see Transformers and my bones are rattling like crazy in anticipation for the Bourne Ultimatum. Which reminds me, I still need to watch the Bourne Supremacy....
Project 86 came out with a new album which was ok for the most part. They've gone somewhat softer than their previous albums. And they got a new drummer. And Andrew Schwab (vocalist) shaved his head and grew a beard and now I can barely recognize him; he looks somewhat like Ryan Clark from Demon Hunter. The music video for Evil: A Chorus of Resistance is cool (foodfight!!):
....and, yeah.
By the way, here's a link to some vids from the trip (under 2007 Trip, obviously....I dunno when they'll put the vids of Hawaii on. I'll let you guess which guy I am)
http://rhprep.org/streamingvideos.htm
Enjoy..........and post comments, for a dead rattlesnake's sake (my dad killed one the other day)
CP
Say, I was actually on a spiritual level on this blog. That's a rarity.....alright, back to business!
So, H.P. and the deathly hallows came out and I am not in the least bit interested. Why? Because ol' Harry stinks. Literally. He's a pansy, I tell you. Every book he gets beat up in one way or another and gets saved by his com padres from that one dude whose name starts with a V...I forget what it is but I can care less. The whole witchcraft thing doesn't really bother me that much, but the fact that the series was recently ridiculously successful bothers me. If anything is ridiculously successful, it bothers me. (..except for some things like tom clancy, lord of the rings, and halo)
I took my sister to go see Ratatouille and I thought it was pretty good. I really want to see Transformers and my bones are rattling like crazy in anticipation for the Bourne Ultimatum. Which reminds me, I still need to watch the Bourne Supremacy....
Project 86 came out with a new album which was ok for the most part. They've gone somewhat softer than their previous albums. And they got a new drummer. And Andrew Schwab (vocalist) shaved his head and grew a beard and now I can barely recognize him; he looks somewhat like Ryan Clark from Demon Hunter. The music video for Evil: A Chorus of Resistance is cool (foodfight!!):
....and, yeah.
By the way, here's a link to some vids from the trip (under 2007 Trip, obviously....I dunno when they'll put the vids of Hawaii on. I'll let you guess which guy I am)
http://rhprep.org/streamingvideos.htm
Enjoy..........and post comments, for a dead rattlesnake's sake (my dad killed one the other day)
CP
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
I am at the airport
Well, our trip is just about over and we're at the airport in Honolulu waiting for our 9:00 (a.m.) flight and I got Starbucks (shocking for me, I usually don't support the evil empire) and I saw an Internet cafe station and decided to post something. I have plenty of time right now so I'll give whoever reads this a recap of our trip.
.....ok, first day (June 20) our tire on the bus blows out about 150 miles from our destination on our way from Arcadia, CA to Cedar City, Utah (don't know the 2 letter thingy for that..), so we stayed at a Budget Motel in St. George while the tire got fixed. Next day we traveled the remaining distance to Cedar City. We worked out and lifted weights and such then the next day we headed for Salt Lake City, where we stayed at Camp Williams, an National Guard barracks where we had somewhat of a boot camp with the sergeants there and repelled off of a tower (it's like bouncing down after a rock climb except alot more fun). The next day we did the Leadership Reaction Course which was ridiculously hard (some courses involved crossing a body of water with 50 lbs of ammunition using boards that didn't reach over a broken bridge, and we can't drop in the water). Well, after that we went to Yellowstone for a couple days then headed through Idaho to Seattle, Washington for the UW Football Camp. I was in with the linemen and I felt about 10 times smaller because alot of the other linemen were HUGE (the biggest one was 6'8", 275 lbs.; I'm 6'1" and a measly 190 lbs.) After a couple days of camp we headed down through Oregon and back into California, and after a couple days in Eureka (I found it!) and Oakland we flew out to Kauai, Hawaii! First couple of days were very fun; the first morning we salvaged coconuts for breakfast (along with Lucky Charms and Cookie Crisp....) We did many fun activites (as I posted in Maui...) We visited the islands of Kauai, Maui and now we're in Oahu.
....dargh, my Starbucks ran out. That's the last time I'm paying five bucks for a measly frap.
Well, I am going to be back in So Cal in a couple hours and I am very pumped. Start my senior year, kick some butt in football, and...........................word.
I'll try to post things over the summer; there won't be much going on besides double sessions in August.
CP
.....ok, first day (June 20) our tire on the bus blows out about 150 miles from our destination on our way from Arcadia, CA to Cedar City, Utah (don't know the 2 letter thingy for that..), so we stayed at a Budget Motel in St. George while the tire got fixed. Next day we traveled the remaining distance to Cedar City. We worked out and lifted weights and such then the next day we headed for Salt Lake City, where we stayed at Camp Williams, an National Guard barracks where we had somewhat of a boot camp with the sergeants there and repelled off of a tower (it's like bouncing down after a rock climb except alot more fun). The next day we did the Leadership Reaction Course which was ridiculously hard (some courses involved crossing a body of water with 50 lbs of ammunition using boards that didn't reach over a broken bridge, and we can't drop in the water). Well, after that we went to Yellowstone for a couple days then headed through Idaho to Seattle, Washington for the UW Football Camp. I was in with the linemen and I felt about 10 times smaller because alot of the other linemen were HUGE (the biggest one was 6'8", 275 lbs.; I'm 6'1" and a measly 190 lbs.) After a couple days of camp we headed down through Oregon and back into California, and after a couple days in Eureka (I found it!) and Oakland we flew out to Kauai, Hawaii! First couple of days were very fun; the first morning we salvaged coconuts for breakfast (along with Lucky Charms and Cookie Crisp....) We did many fun activites (as I posted in Maui...) We visited the islands of Kauai, Maui and now we're in Oahu.
....dargh, my Starbucks ran out. That's the last time I'm paying five bucks for a measly frap.
Well, I am going to be back in So Cal in a couple hours and I am very pumped. Start my senior year, kick some butt in football, and...........................word.
I'll try to post things over the summer; there won't be much going on besides double sessions in August.
CP
Monday, July 16, 2007
I'M IN MAUI!!!!!!
....yeah, I'm out in Hawaii and I've got 2 min. to post this real quick. So, we've snorkled, hiked, surfed, etc etc etc and I'm going to be back home in about 9 days. Well, aloha (that also means goodbye).
CP
CP
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
LAST DAY OF SCHOOL/20th POST!!!!!!
Yay, today was the last day of school! No more school for 3 months! Monday, it's off to Yellowstone! Then Washington! Then 'Frisco! Then Oakland! Then Hawaii! Can't wait to actually go and get a decent tan.
I probably won't update my blog from now until I get back. If I find an internet cafe or somtin, I'll try to post somtin.
Oh yeah, discovered another band! As I Lay Dying. Enjoy.
CP
I probably won't update my blog from now until I get back. If I find an internet cafe or somtin, I'll try to post somtin.
Oh yeah, discovered another band! As I Lay Dying. Enjoy.
CP
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
..........word
Well, I finally got the chance to get to my blog, and I have alot of things to say...sort of. So, the circus was this past weekend, and all day Friday I worked at the nachos and cotton candy booths. Making cotton candy was fun for the first 20 minutes but it gets repetitive. Saturday I "troubleshooted" (helped out booths that had people missing, worked there until people got there) for a while then Mr. Kirby wanted me to come play some easy stuff on the synthesizer for a couple of the circus shows; like play the ta-da's (C major chord in both hands) before every act and three chords after every act (C, D, E octaves in left hand, e minor triad in left hand, progresses up a whole step (e minor to f# major to g# major)) James is starting to take over Mr. Clevenger's job doing the drums, and Mr. Kirby wants me to do the shows next year. I still need to learn a couple other easy things to do the entire show, but it's going to be easy.
Say, I'm going to be leaving in 6 days. Our varsity football team is taking a trip up the west coast for three weeks and then we're going to spend two in Hawaii (yeeeeah). And school is over tomorrow. Geez, I hope summer doesn't go by too fast. Well, it probably won't during double sessions.
Well, 2008 is coming up and that means a new president, and that means alot of people are in the running. All I have to say is............
...and vote Republican. Liberals/Dem.s are so open minded their brains fall out.
Today was the last of Mr. Loomis's devotion times of the school year (they're called clubmeetings in KYL; every team in KYL, whether they're D's/Royal Friends (kindergarten boys/girls) or high school, meets for a devotional time called clubmeeting.) and he gave us a pretty vivid message. It had to do with your sins finding you out, whether it be in this life or on judgment day. He gave us a vivid metaphor of God having a ridiculously huge projector with a huge imax screen and every one of your sinful scenes being replayed for everyone to see. Scary, eh? I think about that metaphor while I'm doing everything.
Oh yeah, I saw the new pirates of the carrb. yesterday and I must say that it was not all that excellent but it was ok. I had to pee really bad 2/3's of the way through the movie, and the same thing happened to me during dead man's chest last year. Maybe p.o.c. has a curse on my bladder?.....well, maybe my almost-bursting bladder had an affect on my judgment.
Two movies I can't wait for to come out: The Bourne Ultimatum and Halo (yes, there is a movie under production based on the video game, Peter Jackson is directing it, and it is coming out in 2009...kind of a long time to wait)
Speaking of my bladder bursting, I need to go relieve myself right now.
........
All right, I'm back.
Seniors are graduating, and that means I'm going to be a senior next year, and that means no more fibs from Logan and Joe.....fibs stands for Fill in the Blanks; Joe writes a story with a bunch of blanks and Logan fills them in. Much more hilarious and more entertaining than mad libs. Here are a few in memory of the many times we had a laugh during literature lectures (courtesy from James' blog: jmc17.wordpress.com)
------------------------------
I Really Don't Feel Like Slapping Together 3 BLT's with Your Mom
Narrator: There was a kid who burned aluminum drumsticks and, unfortunately, was caught and sent to the principal’s office where his mom, Danielle Desire, was called and brought to the school. This is what went down.
Principal: I’m sorry Mrs. Danielle Desire, for having to call you in during your work hours, but your son is busted, he has caused a little bit of hassle.
Mother: Well, what did he do, Miss Liar? You Liar!
Principal: Well, he threw drumsticks into gasoline buckets, and then with two seconds left on the clock, he lit the bucks suddenly, and I cursed with my cousin,Frank.
Little Boy: That’s a lie! I didn’t light it, Samson did, I just wanted some attention before I went home.
Mother: Is this your excuse for burning buildings? Your a strip of carpet.
Principal: Yes, he definately did this.
Little Boy: Mother, why don’t you believe me? Why do you believe this lying hunk of cheese who calls herself a principal!?! She’s full of dirt and sometimes mud, plus, she doesn’t even care about my well-being.
Principal: HAHA, did you really think that you would get away with tweaking the rules, and do you know that I’m really a disco dancer in my night life, looking for a good fortune.
Mother: What!?! So you are really a 48 year-old hippie. No wonder my son is so full of joy. It’s your fault, you impure heart.
Principal: Yes, it is true, I often date your buff husband. Sometimes I get away with it, other times I get arrested.
Mother: I’m taking my son away from this unconstitutional government building you guys call a school.
Little Boy: See mom, I told you I wasn’t lying. This Principal is like an old lady collapsing in the tub.
Narrator: And so it was, that Mrs. Desire enrolled her son at SFCWLADOF (School for Children who Light Aluminum Drumsticks on Fire), and he became a quality candlestick maker. THE END
--------------------------------
Being Unable to Talk is Like Kissing Blind Kids in the Rain; So Sue Me!!!
Narrator: Here, in the land of Colbulkhan, Yestermiy; and in such strange events, Boy has fallen deepily in love with Girl. But Father has denied Boy passage to the gate of Girl’s heart, and Boy must find a way for the two to be together. If not, then he will surely die of the disease known widely as scoldiferrus tulaecunis cylundiperae, or more widely known as weak tongue skin.
Boy walks into the tablina of the casa.
Boy: (overwhelmingly serious) Hey, little lady, do you wanna start a fire?
Girl: (hoping Boy is being facetious) Well, maybe, but I really wanna bathe in blood with your GI Joe toys.
Boy: Well, if you give me a chance to breathe, then maybe we can do something funner.
Girl: Well, my father will be coming soon, so hurry up and think of inspirational quotes!
Father bursts through the doors of the casa, outraged and palled.
Father: (emphatically) Just what are you guys talking about!?! Tangled wires!?!
Boy: (unnerved) I’m sorry Mr. Emo, I was just trying to win you daughter’s heart, and see if she is a woman that is simply amazing.
Father: Get out your Bible, if you have one, and duel me for your evil wordly sins,which you have committed!!!
Girl: (stupified) No Dad, Don’t!!! You know you’ve never fought without your oxygen tank!!!
Father: You sould never ever ever pass by the point of my blazing sword.
Boy: Nay! For I have a Pokemon named Pearl Necklace Creator, and it shall battle you in this duel!
Girl: YOUR MY BABY, BABY!!!!!
Narrator: So they battled until black clouds filled the sky. Boy’s Pokemon, Henry, barely won, and killed Girl’s father without remorse. Boy finally won Girl’s heart and soul, and they lived happily; but then tragically, under seemily eccentric events, they had no kids. Also, with great travesty, and almost utter dumbstruckedness, Boy was diagnosed with forementioned disease scoldiferrus tulaecunis cylundiperae. Intravenous deployed was the vaccination, and under great happiness, he was healed; but they still brought forth no offspring.
-----------------------------
last one......see the rest on james' blog
-----------------------------
I Don’t Know How to Escape My Fears, Unless I Practice with My Mystical Mom
Football Player: Coach, I’m having a problem with my inner motivation!!! Will it be okay if I take off practice to date?
Coach: Absolutely not Sammy Snorlax!!! If you take her out, then my egocentric spastic lover will come and wail on you.
Football Player: Well, my wife, Mrs. Malfunction, needs to study Jewish Holidays because she’s the cheerleading captain of backflips for the team.
Coach: I don’t care of she was the principal of Hogwarts, I’m not letting you put her before my glorious team.
Football Player: Please Mr. Omar Octavious, she’s going to be here any minute now and she’ll be so estatic if you just key your new car!
Coach: Listen you non-alcoholic beverage, I’ve already made up my mind; I’m not letting you ruin my life for love!!!
Football Player: Hah! Do you think I’m a key to success not worthy of any off-season playtime!?! Here comes my beautiful Bible babe; she will surely change your mind.
Just then the Cheerleader enters the conversation
Cheerleader: Hey, tedious temptation, I’m so pumped up about being the woman who flips for this team. My husband has been telling me that you are the best breakfast cereal namer.
Coach: Well, I don’t know about that. But I have to say, you are the most selfish superbowl destoyer that I’ve ever seen.
Football Player: Hey, I just remembered, she is my only wife.
Cheerleader: Ya, what kinda balogna BS is that?
Coach: I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me.
Football Player: When I was younger I was a woman!!!
Cheerleader: Can’t you see how much he loves me you womanless hater of unique love? That counts for a lottle lovin’ in his spare time.
Coach: I see you guys have a very deep love bond. So I will grant you one wish.
Football Player: My wife would like to make that wish. She’ll probably wish for kids. You are really a Genie?
Cheerleader: No Way!!! He’s fake. I want to flip off our local librarian.
Narrarator: So she got what she wanted and became a flippin’ Pharisee for the XFL.
THE END
------------------------------
wait, i lied, this last one (for sure) we got busted for during literature and this brings back memories that make my sides ache from laughing so much. The first part we purposely dissed the teacher, and she also hates math.
------------------------------
Do You Wanna be a Human Soccer Ball Weaver that doesn’t get Fed?
“Look towards the sky, magical dreamcatcher, for you will see a wood pile lookin’ like a man. Do you also wanna go to a super nice land of freedom?” asked the nice boy.
Then the girl answered, “Shakespeare stinks. That sounds great, for as great as that sounds, I believe in doing calculus; kiss me, so I will have to make up a fake boyfriend, Okay!?!”
“You know I have cluster, right?”
He thinks to himself this: I don’t wanna be friends. Why do girls always pump fake their love to us, and then they yell obscene words like, I love life and believe lies.
Why is it that teachers say this: “This book was tasty, wasn’t it?”
AHHHHHHH!!!!! Forgetting to put your names on a final exam makes professors scream “Light Fixures!!!” and then they’ll give you five for fighting.
“Do you see the golden lover boy on the horizon? If you do, then that means you are the only one who fights slaves that can’t get black eyes. If you can take two punches in the face by a big, buff, black guy, then that means that your name is Alfred the Invisible Angel, and you can do any math problem when the sun is not looking.”
Boyfriends that say they can’t understand you, usually only love magical video games with a girl name Genice. Don’t go to Hollister or Pac-Sun because the ladies working there will critique your essay with no mercy, and make you cry when you are in the changing room. Also, don’t fall into tempation with a girl named “El Diablo” for she will surely burn you favorite book, and never let you breath, and she will steal all of your food. Let me set the scene you big scab. My mom, that goofs around with Charles and Kaz, kisses my right tricep, usually tells me that I’m not going to pass the AP. Please, listen to this knowledge that has been dropped. THE END.
-----------------------------
Ah, dinner's calling me! Right after I pushed ctrl-v, too.
Wash your hands. 30 seconds minimum.
CP
Say, I'm going to be leaving in 6 days. Our varsity football team is taking a trip up the west coast for three weeks and then we're going to spend two in Hawaii (yeeeeah). And school is over tomorrow. Geez, I hope summer doesn't go by too fast. Well, it probably won't during double sessions.
Well, 2008 is coming up and that means a new president, and that means alot of people are in the running. All I have to say is............
...and vote Republican. Liberals/Dem.s are so open minded their brains fall out.
Today was the last of Mr. Loomis's devotion times of the school year (they're called clubmeetings in KYL; every team in KYL, whether they're D's/Royal Friends (kindergarten boys/girls) or high school, meets for a devotional time called clubmeeting.) and he gave us a pretty vivid message. It had to do with your sins finding you out, whether it be in this life or on judgment day. He gave us a vivid metaphor of God having a ridiculously huge projector with a huge imax screen and every one of your sinful scenes being replayed for everyone to see. Scary, eh? I think about that metaphor while I'm doing everything.
Oh yeah, I saw the new pirates of the carrb. yesterday and I must say that it was not all that excellent but it was ok. I had to pee really bad 2/3's of the way through the movie, and the same thing happened to me during dead man's chest last year. Maybe p.o.c. has a curse on my bladder?.....well, maybe my almost-bursting bladder had an affect on my judgment.
Two movies I can't wait for to come out: The Bourne Ultimatum and Halo (yes, there is a movie under production based on the video game, Peter Jackson is directing it, and it is coming out in 2009...kind of a long time to wait)
Speaking of my bladder bursting, I need to go relieve myself right now.
........
All right, I'm back.
Seniors are graduating, and that means I'm going to be a senior next year, and that means no more fibs from Logan and Joe.....fibs stands for Fill in the Blanks; Joe writes a story with a bunch of blanks and Logan fills them in. Much more hilarious and more entertaining than mad libs. Here are a few in memory of the many times we had a laugh during literature lectures (courtesy from James' blog: jmc17.wordpress.com)
------------------------------
I Really Don't Feel Like Slapping Together 3 BLT's with Your Mom
Narrator: There was a kid who burned aluminum drumsticks and, unfortunately, was caught and sent to the principal’s office where his mom, Danielle Desire, was called and brought to the school. This is what went down.
Principal: I’m sorry Mrs. Danielle Desire, for having to call you in during your work hours, but your son is busted, he has caused a little bit of hassle.
Mother: Well, what did he do, Miss Liar? You Liar!
Principal: Well, he threw drumsticks into gasoline buckets, and then with two seconds left on the clock, he lit the bucks suddenly, and I cursed with my cousin,Frank.
Little Boy: That’s a lie! I didn’t light it, Samson did, I just wanted some attention before I went home.
Mother: Is this your excuse for burning buildings? Your a strip of carpet.
Principal: Yes, he definately did this.
Little Boy: Mother, why don’t you believe me? Why do you believe this lying hunk of cheese who calls herself a principal!?! She’s full of dirt and sometimes mud, plus, she doesn’t even care about my well-being.
Principal: HAHA, did you really think that you would get away with tweaking the rules, and do you know that I’m really a disco dancer in my night life, looking for a good fortune.
Mother: What!?! So you are really a 48 year-old hippie. No wonder my son is so full of joy. It’s your fault, you impure heart.
Principal: Yes, it is true, I often date your buff husband. Sometimes I get away with it, other times I get arrested.
Mother: I’m taking my son away from this unconstitutional government building you guys call a school.
Little Boy: See mom, I told you I wasn’t lying. This Principal is like an old lady collapsing in the tub.
Narrator: And so it was, that Mrs. Desire enrolled her son at SFCWLADOF (School for Children who Light Aluminum Drumsticks on Fire), and he became a quality candlestick maker. THE END
--------------------------------
Being Unable to Talk is Like Kissing Blind Kids in the Rain; So Sue Me!!!
Narrator: Here, in the land of Colbulkhan, Yestermiy; and in such strange events, Boy has fallen deepily in love with Girl. But Father has denied Boy passage to the gate of Girl’s heart, and Boy must find a way for the two to be together. If not, then he will surely die of the disease known widely as scoldiferrus tulaecunis cylundiperae, or more widely known as weak tongue skin.
Boy walks into the tablina of the casa.
Boy: (overwhelmingly serious) Hey, little lady, do you wanna start a fire?
Girl: (hoping Boy is being facetious) Well, maybe, but I really wanna bathe in blood with your GI Joe toys.
Boy: Well, if you give me a chance to breathe, then maybe we can do something funner.
Girl: Well, my father will be coming soon, so hurry up and think of inspirational quotes!
Father bursts through the doors of the casa, outraged and palled.
Father: (emphatically) Just what are you guys talking about!?! Tangled wires!?!
Boy: (unnerved) I’m sorry Mr. Emo, I was just trying to win you daughter’s heart, and see if she is a woman that is simply amazing.
Father: Get out your Bible, if you have one, and duel me for your evil wordly sins,which you have committed!!!
Girl: (stupified) No Dad, Don’t!!! You know you’ve never fought without your oxygen tank!!!
Father: You sould never ever ever pass by the point of my blazing sword.
Boy: Nay! For I have a Pokemon named Pearl Necklace Creator, and it shall battle you in this duel!
Girl: YOUR MY BABY, BABY!!!!!
Narrator: So they battled until black clouds filled the sky. Boy’s Pokemon, Henry, barely won, and killed Girl’s father without remorse. Boy finally won Girl’s heart and soul, and they lived happily; but then tragically, under seemily eccentric events, they had no kids. Also, with great travesty, and almost utter dumbstruckedness, Boy was diagnosed with forementioned disease scoldiferrus tulaecunis cylundiperae. Intravenous deployed was the vaccination, and under great happiness, he was healed; but they still brought forth no offspring.
-----------------------------
last one......see the rest on james' blog
-----------------------------
I Don’t Know How to Escape My Fears, Unless I Practice with My Mystical Mom
Football Player: Coach, I’m having a problem with my inner motivation!!! Will it be okay if I take off practice to date?
Coach: Absolutely not Sammy Snorlax!!! If you take her out, then my egocentric spastic lover will come and wail on you.
Football Player: Well, my wife, Mrs. Malfunction, needs to study Jewish Holidays because she’s the cheerleading captain of backflips for the team.
Coach: I don’t care of she was the principal of Hogwarts, I’m not letting you put her before my glorious team.
Football Player: Please Mr. Omar Octavious, she’s going to be here any minute now and she’ll be so estatic if you just key your new car!
Coach: Listen you non-alcoholic beverage, I’ve already made up my mind; I’m not letting you ruin my life for love!!!
Football Player: Hah! Do you think I’m a key to success not worthy of any off-season playtime!?! Here comes my beautiful Bible babe; she will surely change your mind.
Just then the Cheerleader enters the conversation
Cheerleader: Hey, tedious temptation, I’m so pumped up about being the woman who flips for this team. My husband has been telling me that you are the best breakfast cereal namer.
Coach: Well, I don’t know about that. But I have to say, you are the most selfish superbowl destoyer that I’ve ever seen.
Football Player: Hey, I just remembered, she is my only wife.
Cheerleader: Ya, what kinda balogna BS is that?
Coach: I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me.
Football Player: When I was younger I was a woman!!!
Cheerleader: Can’t you see how much he loves me you womanless hater of unique love? That counts for a lottle lovin’ in his spare time.
Coach: I see you guys have a very deep love bond. So I will grant you one wish.
Football Player: My wife would like to make that wish. She’ll probably wish for kids. You are really a Genie?
Cheerleader: No Way!!! He’s fake. I want to flip off our local librarian.
Narrarator: So she got what she wanted and became a flippin’ Pharisee for the XFL.
THE END
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wait, i lied, this last one (for sure) we got busted for during literature and this brings back memories that make my sides ache from laughing so much. The first part we purposely dissed the teacher, and she also hates math.
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Do You Wanna be a Human Soccer Ball Weaver that doesn’t get Fed?
“Look towards the sky, magical dreamcatcher, for you will see a wood pile lookin’ like a man. Do you also wanna go to a super nice land of freedom?” asked the nice boy.
Then the girl answered, “Shakespeare stinks. That sounds great, for as great as that sounds, I believe in doing calculus; kiss me, so I will have to make up a fake boyfriend, Okay!?!”
“You know I have cluster, right?”
He thinks to himself this: I don’t wanna be friends. Why do girls always pump fake their love to us, and then they yell obscene words like, I love life and believe lies.
Why is it that teachers say this: “This book was tasty, wasn’t it?”
AHHHHHHH!!!!! Forgetting to put your names on a final exam makes professors scream “Light Fixures!!!” and then they’ll give you five for fighting.
“Do you see the golden lover boy on the horizon? If you do, then that means you are the only one who fights slaves that can’t get black eyes. If you can take two punches in the face by a big, buff, black guy, then that means that your name is Alfred the Invisible Angel, and you can do any math problem when the sun is not looking.”
Boyfriends that say they can’t understand you, usually only love magical video games with a girl name Genice. Don’t go to Hollister or Pac-Sun because the ladies working there will critique your essay with no mercy, and make you cry when you are in the changing room. Also, don’t fall into tempation with a girl named “El Diablo” for she will surely burn you favorite book, and never let you breath, and she will steal all of your food. Let me set the scene you big scab. My mom, that goofs around with Charles and Kaz, kisses my right tricep, usually tells me that I’m not going to pass the AP. Please, listen to this knowledge that has been dropped. THE END.
-----------------------------
Ah, dinner's calling me! Right after I pushed ctrl-v, too.
Wash your hands. 30 seconds minimum.
CP
Thursday, June 7, 2007
It's Like A Slideshow, Only Crazier!!
Yeah, The Chariot actually came out with a somewhat of a music video! It's pretty crazy and the lyrics are pretty deep.
Lyrics!: You can't stop the race. People moving in place.
Running a crooked path from place to place to place. Paved in gold.
The chords from which we hang, weaken everyday.
They beg for strength, but they are blessed by our blade.
Questions on our minds. Buildings on the rise. Diamonds, instead of our eyes and corporate fights. O'busy, busy, bees walking to and from, what if we close our eyes? What if we can't wake up? I hope you all rest in peace. I hope you find what your looking for. But if that is all that you got, well, there's got to be more. They lay carpet that's made of red and we walk paths made of gold but we are blind just past the nose in this tree covered earth. Yes, that is right. Can we disappear from all we got? We are scattered on God's grace but we are a drip, we are a flash, we are a mist, we are a speck, but we got time.
Basically this song is about looking beyond earthly things and to God.
....oh yeah, I forgot to mention that this is a Christian band. Surprised?
CP
Lyrics!: You can't stop the race. People moving in place.
Running a crooked path from place to place to place. Paved in gold.
The chords from which we hang, weaken everyday.
They beg for strength, but they are blessed by our blade.
Questions on our minds. Buildings on the rise. Diamonds, instead of our eyes and corporate fights. O'busy, busy, bees walking to and from, what if we close our eyes? What if we can't wake up? I hope you all rest in peace. I hope you find what your looking for. But if that is all that you got, well, there's got to be more. They lay carpet that's made of red and we walk paths made of gold but we are blind just past the nose in this tree covered earth. Yes, that is right. Can we disappear from all we got? We are scattered on God's grace but we are a drip, we are a flash, we are a mist, we are a speck, but we got time.
Basically this song is about looking beyond earthly things and to God.
....oh yeah, I forgot to mention that this is a Christian band. Surprised?
CP
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