Say, I'm going to be leaving in 6 days. Our varsity football team is taking a trip up the west coast for three weeks and then we're going to spend two in Hawaii (yeeeeah). And school is over tomorrow. Geez, I hope summer doesn't go by too fast. Well, it probably won't during double sessions.
Well, 2008 is coming up and that means a new president, and that means alot of people are in the running. All I have to say is............
...and vote Republican. Liberals/Dem.s are so open minded their brains fall out.
Today was the last of Mr. Loomis's devotion times of the school year (they're called clubmeetings in KYL; every team in KYL, whether they're D's/Royal Friends (kindergarten boys/girls) or high school, meets for a devotional time called clubmeeting.) and he gave us a pretty vivid message. It had to do with your sins finding you out, whether it be in this life or on judgment day. He gave us a vivid metaphor of God having a ridiculously huge projector with a huge imax screen and every one of your sinful scenes being replayed for everyone to see. Scary, eh? I think about that metaphor while I'm doing everything.
Oh yeah, I saw the new pirates of the carrb. yesterday and I must say that it was not all that excellent but it was ok. I had to pee really bad 2/3's of the way through the movie, and the same thing happened to me during dead man's chest last year. Maybe p.o.c. has a curse on my bladder?.....well, maybe my almost-bursting bladder had an affect on my judgment.
Two movies I can't wait for to come out: The Bourne Ultimatum and Halo (yes, there is a movie under production based on the video game, Peter Jackson is directing it, and it is coming out in 2009...kind of a long time to wait)
Speaking of my bladder bursting, I need to go relieve myself right now.
........
All right, I'm back.
Seniors are graduating, and that means I'm going to be a senior next year, and that means no more fibs from Logan and Joe.....fibs stands for Fill in the Blanks; Joe writes a story with a bunch of blanks and Logan fills them in. Much more hilarious and more entertaining than mad libs. Here are a few in memory of the many times we had a laugh during literature lectures (courtesy from James' blog: jmc17.wordpress.com)
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I Really Don't Feel Like Slapping Together 3 BLT's with Your Mom
Narrator: There was a kid who burned aluminum drumsticks and, unfortunately, was caught and sent to the principal’s office where his mom, Danielle Desire, was called and brought to the school. This is what went down.
Principal: I’m sorry Mrs. Danielle Desire, for having to call you in during your work hours, but your son is busted, he has caused a little bit of hassle.
Mother: Well, what did he do, Miss Liar? You Liar!
Principal: Well, he threw drumsticks into gasoline buckets, and then with two seconds left on the clock, he lit the bucks suddenly, and I cursed with my cousin,Frank.
Little Boy: That’s a lie! I didn’t light it, Samson did, I just wanted some attention before I went home.
Mother: Is this your excuse for burning buildings? Your a strip of carpet.
Principal: Yes, he definately did this.
Little Boy: Mother, why don’t you believe me? Why do you believe this lying hunk of cheese who calls herself a principal!?! She’s full of dirt and sometimes mud, plus, she doesn’t even care about my well-being.
Principal: HAHA, did you really think that you would get away with tweaking the rules, and do you know that I’m really a disco dancer in my night life, looking for a good fortune.
Mother: What!?! So you are really a 48 year-old hippie. No wonder my son is so full of joy. It’s your fault, you impure heart.
Principal: Yes, it is true, I often date your buff husband. Sometimes I get away with it, other times I get arrested.
Mother: I’m taking my son away from this unconstitutional government building you guys call a school.
Little Boy: See mom, I told you I wasn’t lying. This Principal is like an old lady collapsing in the tub.
Narrator: And so it was, that Mrs. Desire enrolled her son at SFCWLADOF (School for Children who Light Aluminum Drumsticks on Fire), and he became a quality candlestick maker. THE END
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Being Unable to Talk is Like Kissing Blind Kids in the Rain; So Sue Me!!!
Narrator: Here, in the land of Colbulkhan, Yestermiy; and in such strange events, Boy has fallen deepily in love with Girl. But Father has denied Boy passage to the gate of Girl’s heart, and Boy must find a way for the two to be together. If not, then he will surely die of the disease known widely as scoldiferrus tulaecunis cylundiperae, or more widely known as weak tongue skin.
Boy walks into the tablina of the casa.
Boy: (overwhelmingly serious) Hey, little lady, do you wanna start a fire?
Girl: (hoping Boy is being facetious) Well, maybe, but I really wanna bathe in blood with your GI Joe toys.
Boy: Well, if you give me a chance to breathe, then maybe we can do something funner.
Girl: Well, my father will be coming soon, so hurry up and think of inspirational quotes!
Father bursts through the doors of the casa, outraged and palled.
Father: (emphatically) Just what are you guys talking about!?! Tangled wires!?!
Boy: (unnerved) I’m sorry Mr. Emo, I was just trying to win you daughter’s heart, and see if she is a woman that is simply amazing.
Father: Get out your Bible, if you have one, and duel me for your evil wordly sins,which you have committed!!!
Girl: (stupified) No Dad, Don’t!!! You know you’ve never fought without your oxygen tank!!!
Father: You sould never ever ever pass by the point of my blazing sword.
Boy: Nay! For I have a Pokemon named Pearl Necklace Creator, and it shall battle you in this duel!
Girl: YOUR MY BABY, BABY!!!!!
Narrator: So they battled until black clouds filled the sky. Boy’s Pokemon, Henry, barely won, and killed Girl’s father without remorse. Boy finally won Girl’s heart and soul, and they lived happily; but then tragically, under seemily eccentric events, they had no kids. Also, with great travesty, and almost utter dumbstruckedness, Boy was diagnosed with forementioned disease scoldiferrus tulaecunis cylundiperae. Intravenous deployed was the vaccination, and under great happiness, he was healed; but they still brought forth no offspring.
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last one......see the rest on james' blog
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I Don’t Know How to Escape My Fears, Unless I Practice with My Mystical Mom
Football Player: Coach, I’m having a problem with my inner motivation!!! Will it be okay if I take off practice to date?
Coach: Absolutely not Sammy Snorlax!!! If you take her out, then my egocentric spastic lover will come and wail on you.
Football Player: Well, my wife, Mrs. Malfunction, needs to study Jewish Holidays because she’s the cheerleading captain of backflips for the team.
Coach: I don’t care of she was the principal of Hogwarts, I’m not letting you put her before my glorious team.
Football Player: Please Mr. Omar Octavious, she’s going to be here any minute now and she’ll be so estatic if you just key your new car!
Coach: Listen you non-alcoholic beverage, I’ve already made up my mind; I’m not letting you ruin my life for love!!!
Football Player: Hah! Do you think I’m a key to success not worthy of any off-season playtime!?! Here comes my beautiful Bible babe; she will surely change your mind.
Just then the Cheerleader enters the conversation
Cheerleader: Hey, tedious temptation, I’m so pumped up about being the woman who flips for this team. My husband has been telling me that you are the best breakfast cereal namer.
Coach: Well, I don’t know about that. But I have to say, you are the most selfish superbowl destoyer that I’ve ever seen.
Football Player: Hey, I just remembered, she is my only wife.
Cheerleader: Ya, what kinda balogna BS is that?
Coach: I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me.
Football Player: When I was younger I was a woman!!!
Cheerleader: Can’t you see how much he loves me you womanless hater of unique love? That counts for a lottle lovin’ in his spare time.
Coach: I see you guys have a very deep love bond. So I will grant you one wish.
Football Player: My wife would like to make that wish. She’ll probably wish for kids. You are really a Genie?
Cheerleader: No Way!!! He’s fake. I want to flip off our local librarian.
Narrarator: So she got what she wanted and became a flippin’ Pharisee for the XFL.
THE END
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wait, i lied, this last one (for sure) we got busted for during literature and this brings back memories that make my sides ache from laughing so much. The first part we purposely dissed the teacher, and she also hates math.
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Do You Wanna be a Human Soccer Ball Weaver that doesn’t get Fed?
“Look towards the sky, magical dreamcatcher, for you will see a wood pile lookin’ like a man. Do you also wanna go to a super nice land of freedom?” asked the nice boy.
Then the girl answered, “Shakespeare stinks. That sounds great, for as great as that sounds, I believe in doing calculus; kiss me, so I will have to make up a fake boyfriend, Okay!?!”
“You know I have cluster, right?”
He thinks to himself this: I don’t wanna be friends. Why do girls always pump fake their love to us, and then they yell obscene words like, I love life and believe lies.
Why is it that teachers say this: “This book was tasty, wasn’t it?”
AHHHHHHH!!!!! Forgetting to put your names on a final exam makes professors scream “Light Fixures!!!” and then they’ll give you five for fighting.
“Do you see the golden lover boy on the horizon? If you do, then that means you are the only one who fights slaves that can’t get black eyes. If you can take two punches in the face by a big, buff, black guy, then that means that your name is Alfred the Invisible Angel, and you can do any math problem when the sun is not looking.”
Boyfriends that say they can’t understand you, usually only love magical video games with a girl name Genice. Don’t go to Hollister or Pac-Sun because the ladies working there will critique your essay with no mercy, and make you cry when you are in the changing room. Also, don’t fall into tempation with a girl named “El Diablo” for she will surely burn you favorite book, and never let you breath, and she will steal all of your food. Let me set the scene you big scab. My mom, that goofs around with Charles and Kaz, kisses my right tricep, usually tells me that I’m not going to pass the AP. Please, listen to this knowledge that has been dropped. THE END.
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Ah, dinner's calling me! Right after I pushed ctrl-v, too.
Wash your hands. 30 seconds minimum.
CP
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